Moops: The True, Inoffensive Story “Sanitized for your protection”
As with most bands, the members of the Moops have all been in several other groups before. Some of these you may have even heard of. Feel free to ask them about it. There’s nothing musicians love more than taking a stroll down Memory Lane, especially over a round of their favorite beer, if you’re the sort who’s good at taking hints. All that sex and drugs stuff? Mostly just industry hype. Take it with a grain of salt.
So, rather than bore you and waste your time with a lot of arcane biographical details that only the band and (maybe) their mothers could ever possibly care about, we’ll just go ahead and tell you who the Moops are and just what the heck it is they do.
The Moops are T.J. Hecker (guitar and vocals), Jim Hutter (bass and vocals), and Rex Seibold (drums). The Moops have been together since 2001, although not with all these same members that entire time.
Through uncountable hardships and trials the Moops have soldiered on, but then they are a pretty hard-headed bunch, so we probably shouldn’t be too surprised. In the process, they have played so many shows that they long ago lost count, and have just completed their third full-length CD.
The group refers to its sound as “adjective-free rock n’ roll”. This is because they lean toward a more raw, rootsy sound than most bands out there today, but they can and do play in a number of other styles as well, such as country, reggae, and even throw in a bit of jazz here and there. They inject a lot of humor into their music — in fact; a few of their numbers could be more accurately described as “comedy bits”, at least to those who find them funny. The rock-and-variety approach has served them and their audiences well over the years.
“Keep ‘em guessing, that’s our motto,” as Mr. Hecker said to someone, possibly himself, recently.
“We try to pleasantly surprise people,” added bass-player Jim.
“Huh?” Rex chimed in. “Who the hell are you guys talkin’ to?”
So, enjoy the music, and if you think that the Moops might be a good fit for your venue, wedding, child’s birthday party, funeral or other event, then by all means contact them at info@moopscrap.com or at the number provided.
And above all, stay strange.
T.J. Hecker - Guitar and vocals
Name: T.J. Hecker
Full Name: Hecker, Tyrone Jamaal
D.O.B.: 1-17-1970
Place of birth: Mom
Sex: Let me check. Male, I think. Yeah, definitely male.
Height: 6'3"
Weight: Slightly Over
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown with blond & gray highlights
Marital Status: Married
Children: None
Pets: 3 cats, numerous spiders
Race: Human
Politics: Liberal as a motherfucker
Home: Columbus, OH
Shoe Size: 12
Pants Size: 36 x 34
Penis Size: Don't wanna know
Car: 2000 Pontiac Sunfire w/numerous dings and obnoxious bumper stickers
Annual Income: Enough
Vocation: Jack-of-all-trades/carpenter/master of none
Likes: money, booze, sex, annoying people, misinforming the public
Dislikes: Would eat up all the memory on this thing.
Hobbies: Painting, pool, smoking, drinking, compulsive masturbation
Religion: None
Beliefs: Few
Doubts: Many
Personality: Recently described as "that grouchy, grumpy asswipe who hates everything," by someone considered a good friend.
Virtues: honest (mostly), trustworthy, loyal to those who deserve it.
Vices: smoking, drinking, foul language, gluttony, dirty pitchers, bullshitting about himself in vital statistic surveys
Character flaws: bad temper, impatient, pessimistic, surly, unrealistic, judgmental, apathetic jerk. Also a very bad dresser. And quite slovenly. Tendency to get down on himself.
Physical Health: generally good, except when sick.
Mental Health: up and down
Gurus: mixture of most world religious teachings with a healthy bit of Schopenhauer, Bentham, Kierkegaarde, Thomas Payne, secular humanism & George Lucas.
Jim Hutter - Bass and vocals
Name: Jim Hutter
Full Name: James Edward Hutter
Bust: Once. It was a long time ago. The records were expunged.
Waist: Sometimes. I can waist a lot of time, for instance.
Hips: Never really cared about being "hip," so no.
Birthdate: Johnson Administration
Birthplace: O-H-I-O
Ambitions: to play bass in the Moops; get this thing on my butt looked at. Model & Actress.
Turn-ons: back rubs, sunsets, walks on the beach, honesty, confidence.
Turn-offs: bad breath, jealousy, hairy backs
Favorite color: Stewart plaid.
Favorite TV show: F-Troop, also enjoy sense of relief when road-runner again eludes coyote.
Dream job: playing bass in the Moops.
Motto: You gotta aim for the stars, baby.
Hobbies: nihilism, flower arranging
Pets: 2 dogs, one of whom can't hold her licker.
Dream vacation: I've always wanted to see Scranton.
Rex Seibold - Drums
Name: Rex Seibold
Real Name: Morton P. Thornblatt
D.O.B.: Late Cretaceous Period
P.O.B.: Primordial Ooze
Height: 7'2"
Weight: Can bench 350
Eyes: beady; shifty; often closed
Hair: changes hue frequently
Marital Status: married
Children: 3 that he knows of
Pets: 1 dog, 1 cat
Politics: apathetic and proud
Ambitions: to become the all-knowing, all-seeing master of time, space and dimension. Also, making some dough.
Hobbies: complaining about physical ailments, drag-racing, working on cars.
Nobody knows he's: getting better at fixing cars. There are fewer & fewer parts left over every time.
Religion: likes God.
Personality: optimistic, upbeat, yet strangely grumpy at the same time.
HALL OF FAME
Past Moops who served honorably, bravely accepting this indelible resume stain. May they not be forgotten.
Mike Dunne: guitar & vocals, 2001
Noel McClanahan: bass, 2001-2004
Liz Hecker: guitar & vocals, 2002-2007
Walter Polk: drums, 2002-2008
Brian Hamilton: drums, summer 2009
James Caldwell - ROAD MANAGER and LIGHTING DIRECTOR
Special thanks go to our roadie crew, consisting of one-man-army James Caldwell. He is a jack-of-all trades when it comes to setting up stage, lights, sound, videotaping, and hauling our equipment around in his Dodge van all for love and little money. James, we salute you!